Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
