it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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