Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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