i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
