Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
