Have you finally orgasmed yet?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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