you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
