i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
