I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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