Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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