Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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