Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize