Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
