Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
