I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We talked him into tasing himself.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
