im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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