What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
