at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
