I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
