direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Randomize
