Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
