I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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