Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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