I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
