Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
