Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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