But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
