what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
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Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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