so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize