Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
