My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
