i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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