evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
