dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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