is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
