operation have a gay friend backfired
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
