omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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