Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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