I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
