I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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