After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
