I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
