what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize