just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
