True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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