sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
