Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
