I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Alive.
So much puke
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
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She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize