I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
