I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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