Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
