He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish I only lived at night.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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