You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
