I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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