you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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