i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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