drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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