so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
