dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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