wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
