There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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