how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
