ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
